In America,there is a very popular game called,”F–K,MARRY OR KILL”.
That game is played by groups of friends in bars,parties,social gatherings, school….etc.
It’s also widely played by Celebrities on TV and Radio interviews.
What happens is: YOU ARE GIVEN A LIST OF 3 Celebrities…If You are a Man,You are given 3 Female celebrities. And if You are a Woman,You are given 3 Male celebrities.
And then You are asked,who between them would You F–K,Who would You MARRY and Whom would You KILL.
And last Month,Rapper 50 Cent played the game. 50 Cent was asked in an interview, Between Iggy Azaelia,Rihanna and Nicki Minaj,WHO WOULD HE F–k,Marry or Kill.
And it was INTERESTING!
50 said that he would F–K Iggy Azaelia,Marry Rihanna and,Damn,Kill Nicki Minaj. Haha.
And earlier this Year,RnB singer Miguel played the game too. He was asked Between Nicki Minaj,Kelly Rowland and Jhene Aiko,Who would he F,MARRY or KILL.
And straight up,Miguel said,”Just Because I think she is crazy in Bed,I would F Nicki… Marry Kelly Rowland and KILL Jhene Aiko!” Whoa!.
And so today,CABU GAH IS PLAYING THAT GAME TOO.
I will share a 3-Part Article on Kenyan/East African Female Celebrities that I would either F,MARRY OR DATE. I think I should replace the word ‘KILL’ with ‘DATE’.
The Word “Kill” is a very very sensitive word in Kenya today.
And I don’t want Ole Dengu claiming that I have crossed the RED LINE. Hahaha.
Okay,Okey….Here we GO.
PART ONE: WOMEN I WOULD F.
1. SIZE 8. Yup,I know she is married but Daaaaaamn! Size 8!!! Could it get hotter than that?? Have You seen how high she can throw that teke in the air?? Now,convert that teke into a bedroom game! Man! Size 8 is the Ultimate Bedroom Bully. Like,she’s always ON FIRE like 24/7! And why do You think almost every new song she release is called ‘MOTO’??? Juu yeye ni MUOTOOO. Buuuda,Size 8 about to make You lose Ya Breath…I would definitely F her! Anytime, Anywhere!
2. ANGELINE WANDERI. Now Now Now,Angeline is the KISS TV Presenter that Everyone clearly loathes. Me included,Hehehe. Lakini,let’s forget about her nauseating presentation skills for a minute,Have You seen how this GIRL is so damn TURNT UP??? Like Everyday?? And have You seen how she dresses?? The very tiny things she wears??? Woi,Angeline Oh! You go Kill Me. Imagine Angeline in Bed,If she can get so Nasty in front of the cameras,Imagine how Nasty she can be in tha Bed. Angeline Anytime. I would rip up that silly tiny dress,grab her by her mouth,pull her hair back and tell her,”SHUT UP and GIVE IT TO ME!” Huku sio KISS TV.
3. SHIKS KAPYENGA. Yes,I know. I know. Don’t tell Me. I know she has the swag of 4 Men. And wouldn’t be considered sexy by many men…Lakini have You ever seen her on Churchill Raw?? With Mbussi and MC Jessy?? Akianani Shiks Kapyengaaaaa! Crazy Crazy! Those little dresses…. those little thighs…those High Heels…that little ka-haga….And that mouth…that very active mouth of hers…Shiks would just KILL IT in Bed…By wearing the sexiest high heels…black stockings,a nasty leather bra….and crawling allover You…Shiks is the Ultimate Bedroom Goddess.
4. HUDDAH MONROE. Dont Even ask. Even the cockroaches hiding under Your grandmother’s calabash would love to F Huddah. Don’t ask why. Everyone knows. She could turn You on in Your fuckin grave.
5. VANESSA CHETTLE. Yes,that ka-tiny rude girl. The girl who,earlier this Year,It was said was spreading HIV/AIDS across this town to all male celebrities…And dating Men old enough to be her Forefathers. Remember her??! Yes,this girl is almost always in the Club. Always. Dressed like a Brothel Queen in Romania. And she is almost always smoking a shisha….Looking like a crematorium chimney. Gai Fafa. I would F Vanessa so badly she would need to stitch bandages and apply Deep Heat all across her little butt every morning. Hot as FIRE!!!
6. CINDY OF UGANDA. Yup,this is the girl who sang,”so when Am in the Club DJ,Play my music so loud …Put My troubles all away…this one’s for You n Me….Eh! Selector!” Wah Wah Wah. Did You even watch the damn video??? And Did You see the hotpants she wore?? Hot like nonsense!! She’s a RUDE GYAL. A Bad Gyal. And when she opens the song like,” Uh,a Who dat?!! A me dat!!” Woi,my balls do a dance. Cindy,I WANT YOUUU!! BAD BAD BITCH.
7. SANAPEI TANDE. But Ofcourse. After watching Mfalme wa Mapenzi,Anything would want to F Sanaipei Tande. Including the rats hiding in my house. Hope You saw those thighs….Hope You saw her in the Jaccuzzi…Legs in the air…soap foam allover her…those eyes…that voice….Woi Woi Woi…Sana,You need a Mfalme wa Kitanda! Like NOW!!!
8. NJOKI CHEGE. Seriously, I don’t KNOW WHY Njoki Chege is on this list. And I DON’T KNOW WHY Njoki Chege should NOT be on this list. Combine her skills and her boldness and her controversies and her crazy head and BOOM the Bedroom is on FIRE!!!! We Be All Night! Looooooovee!!!! And then tomorrow she can write an article titled,’16 REASONS WHY I CANT GET ENOUGH OF CABU GAH’ Hehehe.
9. KAZ. You remember her,Right?? The Girl who was in the first ever Project Fame?? Back in 1980! Also,the Girl who once almost dated Prezzo. Also,the Girl who smokes like a dumping site in Mukuru kwa Njenga. Also,the girl who has admitted to be half-lesbian…KAZ KAZ KAZ!!! I would fap to her voice alone! Sembuse picha! Gimme Kaz anytime! Anytime my Brother! And I’ll be eating her up like Chipo za Sonford na kuku quarter.
10. MAUREEN KUNGA of ELANI. Maureen is the Queen. She had to CLOSE THE LIST. Have You all seen Maureen’s very Heavenly bust? I repeat ,Have You all seen Maureen’s super-sexy bust? And for the last time,Have You ALL seen Maureen’s jaw-dropping Buxom??? Maureen has OFFICIALLY THE BEST PAIR OF B–bs in Nairobi. The BEST. I said it! They can turn You on in Your sleep! I am still NOT sure why I just want to F Maureen Kunga. Instead of Marrying her. But those Boobs tho! Woi…
There You have it….10 WOMEN I WOULD LOVE to F. Just that. Just F–K. Nothing else.
PART TWO: WOMEN I WOULD LOVE TO DATE.
CAROLINE MUTOKO TOPS the List.