WOMENS DAY2015
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Dear Daughter – Of wrong relationships

Of Wrong Relationships

 

Dear Daughter,

My daughter, how I wish I could yank out your heart to ensure that you never curl yourself in your lone couch and cry. How I wish I could SHIELD you from breaking your heart my girl. Free you from heartache, with hopes that the first man who lures you to his world is your prince not a frog. Sadly I can’t. At some point nearly all our romantic life, we date the wrong person. Daughter, this is nothing to be ashamed of: maybe you got swept up in the idea of how fun love seems, and went for it with someone who wasn’t right for you .When you are young and just starting out in the world as an adult, it’s fun to date, and you can even have a serious relationship which might end up hurting you. It is o.k.  We all encounter frogs and truth is you will also be a frog to someone. C’es la vie…

 I know you will ask ….“Why in the world would you want to kiss a whole bunch of frogs? I would rather kiss one prince for the rest of my life.”

One day you will meet a person. Fall in love, love fully and completely.  Share all yourself and give your heart to the person you love entirely, and you will have no desire to be with someone else. Like you couldn’t imagine your life with someone other than the person you love. Then one day you will wake up and realize they are gone. They either left, or you did. They left with your secrets.  You will ask yourself array of questions. You thought you had love all figured out. You will reminisce on the vows you had made to each other..’for better for worse…Till death do as apart..Live happily thereafter..’ . This will be unsettling and scary. In your own heart, you will begin to feel discontent. Scary little thoughts creep in—maybe love doesn’t last is what you will tell your poor soul. It will hurt to breathe. It will hurt to live. It will hurt to love again.

Does this mean you will give up baby girl (Yes you will forever be my little baby girl).No, don’t give up on love. Love again. Live and love.

Be very clear to yourself about what’s really important. This doesn’t mean having low standards, only ones that are acceptable to you and attainable by you. Make a list of the traits and characteristics that are non-negotiable, consider each one individually to make sure that it meets that “realistic” test. Be clear on what you want. That way you are most likely to find it. But most importantly, until you do, know that you’re living this part of your life according to your own choices my daughter. You will suffer the consequences of your choices alone doll.

Don’t give much attention to those who will vanish unwillingly, without warning. We call them ghosts. Don’t give attention to those who don’t reciprocate. Don’t live your life full of excuses. If he is not into you my girl, he is not into you.  Period.

Don’t change yourself to fit Mr. Change-I call them change because they want to change us to fit in their schedule, and later leave without notice. Baby girl, life has taught me lessons. I have learned that there will be people who come in to your life and will try to change the person you are and mold you in to the kind of person they think you should be. Baby, you should know each person is unique and if someone can’t accept the things that make you uniquely you, then it’s that person’s loss. Show them your middle finger and move on. You will always find someone to accommodate you and your flaws.

It is true, we find ourselves changing bit by bit to fit our spouses taste..For Instance, if you are an avid reader, your partner will find themselves joining in. Or you might get interested in soccer because your partner loves soccer.. That’s not what I condemn. The real issue is when you feel the need to change who you are to satisfy your partner. You find yourself molding your opinions, views, your friends and your way of dressing, please my lady, walk out.

 

Daughter, don’t place your happiness in finding the other half. If they come, well and good and if not life has to be lived. If you place your happiness on someone, it will be an uphill battle of heartaches and headaches and you might settle for a frog and oooh baby girl, your life will be done.

Sometimes you will find that person you thought was the one. But they are good at criticizing you. If it affects your esteem, speak up, and if they don’t change, jump ship. Who wants critics in their lives anyway? You see my doll, healthy relationships are meant to lift you up not bring you down.

Girl, we also have those people who are totalitarians. The relationship moves on their convenience. They meet you when they want not when you want. They call all the shots, and you the desperate girl, follow them. Please take a walk girl, they ain’t Jesus and will not turn water into wine but will leave you in a pit of stress.

My daughter you will meet another clan I classify as manipulators. Men who are either married or in serious relationships. The best advice I can give you is when you encounter them run baby run. Then we have those who will win your heart and when they know you are deep into them, they unleash the dragon of either having girlfriends or being married. Baby, the worst atrocity is dating someone who is in a relationship. It makes one’s life messy, unhappy waiting game that is rarely won. As a woman you live life that is shrouded in secrecy, alone all the time and waiting. I would hate to imagine you lying on your carpet, waiting for him to call, waiting for him to come visit you, waiting because waiting is your new pal. Yes he will lie to you he is not getting any sexual favors from his girlfriend or wife-the truth is: He is still having sex with his wife, girlfriend no matter what you may want to believe.

Would you really want to spend time with someone who will keep on saying, “ I wish I had met you before her” ? The truth is you will always be his ego booster. All in all there will never be a happily ever after despite you loving him, you will never trust him. Well, you might meet someone in a relationship and he will claim to leave their girlfriend for you. If he feels strongly enough about you, he will end his relationship in order to explore a relationship with you. This is 0.00004% chance. I still suggest you run not only for your life but your heart too doll. The thing is, if you wait for a man to leave, you are wasting your time. “If he’ll do it with you, he’ll do it to you,”

My advice is, daughter don’t put your life on hold for someone. Don’t stop loving because you have been dumped, betrayed or heartbroken… LIVE>>LOVE>>>AND HAVE FUN WHILE LIVING AND LOVING.

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